Civil Protection: Double Feature!

September 12, 2019 posted by


[Subtitles by danielsangeo] DAVE: Dude, you’re never
going to get anyone in there. MIKE: What the hell am I supposed
to do? The whole place is infested! DAVE: Exactly. It’s infested with rats. MIKE: I kill them every day, but they
keep coming from God knows where. MIKE: How am I supposed to
find a better place [cellphone rings]
MIKE: on a salary that’s a… [cellphone rings]
DAVE: I have to take this. DAVE: Hello? MIKE: Wow, seriously? DAVE: Speaking. MIKE: I’m actually surprised your phone DAVE: Uh-huh.
MIKE: even works. MIKE: I thought the aliens knocked out DAVE: Yes.
MIKE: most of the cell towers when MIKE: the invasion happened. DAVE: Yes, that’s right. MIKE: I thought all we had now
was landline and radio. DAVE: Uh-huh. MIKE: It’s kind of funny. That wasn’t DAVE: Yes.
MIKE: even part of the alien’s agenda. MIKE: And most of the phone
companies refused to cooperate and demanded money from them. DAVE: I see.
MIKE: So, the aliens just killed everyone DAVE: Well…
MIKE: involved instead. MIKE: Hence, no cell phones. DAVE: Are you sure we need that much? MIKE: Personally, I kind of like it. DAVE: I don’t think we need THAT much.
MIKE: Back when we had cell phones, MIKE: everybody was running around acting DAVE: Doesn’t sound that bad…
MIKE: self-absorbed and ignoring MIKE: the people in front of them. MIKE: Kind of like you’re doing right now. DAVE: I mean, it might be dangerous,
but not THAT dangerous. MIKE: Okay, you know what, Dave? You can catch up with me. DAVE: No… MIKE: I’m not waiting on your stupid call. DAVE: …no, I understand. Uh huh. Uh huh. Yeah. [cell phone dial tone beeps] DAVE: No, I agree completely, commissioner. This DOES sound like a job for Batman! MIKE: I don’t understand how
you get so many dates when you’re doing crap
like this the rest of the time. DAVE: Well, I try not to bring
my work home with me. MIKE: So, does that make this
business or pleasure, right now? DAVE: That depends on what I find. Ooh! This looks interesting. MIKE: Yeah, a rubber tire.
I’m sure it’s amazing. DAVE: No, check out this! MIKE: Whoa, what is that? DAVE: I don’t know!
Must be worth something. MIKE: Well, get out of there already. DAVE: Hey, it’s got a switch. [gravity gun hums] MIKE: What the hell is that? Why is it humming? DAVE: Hm. MIKE: It looks way
too big to be a flashlight. DAVE: Dude! It’s putting out a magnetic field! It’s a magnetic generator! MIKE: Huh, well that’s kind of neat. DAVE: Yeah, it’s got a great grip. [gravity gun chirps]
Aw, it can’t lift this shopping cart. I think the battery’s dying. MIKE: Bummer. DAVE: Hey, this thing runs
on a 9-volt battery. MIKE: Damn! I’ve never even
heard of anything like this. DAVE: Lets hook it up to the APC.
That’s electric. DAVE: It’s got a 300-volt
battery array. MIKE: Uh, sure. I’ll get the jumper cables. All right, give it a shot. [gravity gun hums loudly] DAVE: Oh, HELL yeah! MIKE: Now THAT is friggin’ metal! I want one of these. DAVE: I’m going to try to pull
these gutters off. MIKE: Uh… okay. [building rumbles] DAVE: Uh-oh.
[people screaming] [people screaming] MIKE: Jesus Christ, Dave.
Put it down, put it down. Down down down, put it down. DAVE: Shit. Uh… Okay… trying. WOMAN: Helpmehelpmehelpme helpmehelpmehelpme
MAN: HOLY SHIT! [people screaming]
WOMAN: (gibbering) [gravity gun thrums] MIKE: Not good, Dave. DAVE: Yeah…. So, should we call and get some help? MIKE: I don’t think we need to. I’m pretty sure somebody noticed that. DAVE: Yeah… MIKE: Put that thing back
in the Dumpster, Dave. DAVE: Yeah, I don’t want to be
carrying this on me anymore. MIKE: Did you know anyone in
that apartment? DAVE: No, did you? MIKE: No. DAVE: Let’s not mention this
in the report, then. MIKE: Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. DAVE: Let’s get out of here. MIKE: Yeah.
[APC doors close] Oh, come on! Now the car battery’s drained!

89 Comments

89 Replies to “Civil Protection: Double Feature!”

  1. Carson Groezinger says:

    CIVIL PROTECTION! *mouth drooling*

  2. Dave Archer says:

    They look like a couple of dick heads. Also glad to see this make a return! 8D

  3. FadedHaze says:

    Gravity Gun!

  4. Robbie says:

    Is it intentional that their heads look like bellends?

  5. Silent Works says:

    1 person was inside the apartment when it got punted.

  6. Chris says:

    XD Not good Dave!

  7. LastAmerican6 says:

    Weinercock

  8. MattM0201 says:

    Even though it's animated and the quality isn't the best, I knew at 2:47 Dave was going to do some stupid, yet awesome shit.

  9. Brunswick Bates says:

    That was good, I miss Civil Protection.

  10. TheDonorak says:

    so thats what happenes when a gravity gun is hooked up to a 900 volt battery very intersting

  11. ildikó merczel says:

    o.O

  12. Cullen Schmitt says:

    Hook up the gravity gun to a power plant, and then threaten to split the Earth in half

  13. Karla Bravo says:

    They look like a bunch of rolls.

  14. mike w says:

    LMAO, I bet they've never seen a "house fly" before. lol

  15. z s says:

    excuse my american dialect, but what is a bellend?

  16. z s says:

    ah, now what is seen cannot be unseen, cp ruined 😛

  17. Robbie says:

    The end of a penis good sir.

  18. TornadoSandwich says:

    Why is this not in gmod like the others?

  19. John Freeman says:

    Remake in Gmod!!

  20. John Freeman says:

    Remake in Gmod!!

  21. BrendanAC says:

    It was Dave on the phone image

  22. IanStarGem says:

    Are you going to remake this using the Source Engine by Valve Software?

  23. martdotini says:

    3:10 I hear Polish chattering, suspicious…

  24. David Chaos says:

    And thats how the gravity gun is charged with a 300 volt battery.

  25. platypus says:

    I need more

  26. kenstr321 says:

    0:53 crazy edit there, what was that scene going to be?

  27. InfectedSpartan2476 says:

    Why is there subtitles in Russian only??

  28. Thormagniss says:

    holy shit XD

  29. Ch33ki says:

    0:54 heh…

  30. Haunted Hunter says:

    Please do not do this agen.

  31. apreture0 says:

    they
    have peins heads

  32. Prankster McGrail says:

    Their heads are a bit…. Suggestive

  33. JosephSTALIN9000 says:

    Is this series going to be rebooted because this was very entertaining to watch.

  34. ima Borg says:

    we want more civil protection 

  35. Kilgore Trout says:

    Not good, Dave!

  36. Reccomendation says:

    The background looks like it's from Pheonix Arizona. I can tell because of those buildings in the background.

  37. EnviousEditors says:

    TUNNEL PART 2 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. Ryebredrox says:

    I can safely say that those people are dead.

  39. Ilan Smolders says:

    Why is this not done with half life 2 and gmod or some other software?

  40. Illuminarty says:

    "Holy shit Dave! Where did you Learn to drive?!"

    "I took a course in high speed maneuvering"

    "Do you even have a license?"

    "Yeah sure, here"

    "Uhh… Dave… Freeman? Hey haven't I heard that name before?"

    "What was it?.. Umm Gordon… Nah, oh! That's it! Morgan freeman! Academy award winning actor Morgan freeman!"

    "That's probably it…"

  41. AGuyWithAChannel says:

    Freud would have a field day with those helmets. Very…masculine.

  42. Conor Tachibana says:

    i would love to see more of these cartoony styled civil protection animations, but the heads need some editing at some angles 😛

  43. Leeroy Jenkins says:

    WELL, that face at the end….I was watching it at night…wow I was never scared like this… holy fuck :DDD

  44. Kokopelli says:

    The helmets look like penises

  45. Madison Price says:

    Freakin' Dave. First a ninja, now a menace to society.

  46. Zer0Frost says:

    "postaw mnie na ziemie, ty debilu, co się dzieje" ? xDD

  47. Nolverdose says:

    i like the animation style

  48. KASASpace says:

    I like this animation style…

  49. STU prigg says:

    …dickheads…

  50. Czech Death says:

    Did I notice correctly that lady in the pink is saying "Co se deje, Co se deje?" meaning "What's happening" In Polish or Czech

  51. CiprianXxZz says:

    too bad the show didnt continued:( i really enjoyed it:D
    would be fun to see….somekind of….paralel story about those 2 when gordon freeman was 1st reported in the city and how dave and mike try to survive the rebel attacks and the aftermatch when the citadel was destroyed:D
    would be awesome:D

  52. Printed Paper says:

    is that how the physics gun was made?

  53. StormFu r says:

    does anyone else think the top of their masks look like dick heads?

  54. Dam Kszak says:

    3:09 Polish????

  55. Supercjcom says:

    2:33 Shouldn't it turn into the Super Gravity Gun?

  56. CMB says:

    Moral of the story: Never hook up APC jumper cables to the Grav Gun.

  57. Potato says:

    Their head look like dicks xDD

  58. HIMIK-MAN says:

    These are dick-masks, alright.

  59. Zachary Brambier says:

    That was a gravity gun

  60. Cup o Joe` says:

    The episode Lift is why they get placed on an remote northern outpost in the next Half Life game.

  61. Cathleen Walker says:

    I miss ce

  62. Cathleen Walker says:

    I miss c

  63. Cathleen Walker says:

    I miss civil pr

  64. Cathleen Walker says:

    I miss civil protection

  65. AGrayPhantom says:

    Does… does this take place after The Tunnel?!

  66. Wyatt Booth says:

    what the hell! after the tunnel cliff hanger!

  67. Dan McLeod says:

    Who did the intro music?

  68. Alan Fitzgerald says:

    Not good, Dave.

  69. Dunn & Dunn says:

    It appears the Gravity Gun wasn't as valuable as it looked, since it was in a dumpster

  70. SunnyBoi says:

    It'd be nice if there was a second season of this. It's nice to watch.

  71. Hannibal says:

    This is why you never hook up anything with a 300 volt power source to something that just needs 9 volts

  72. [REDACTED] says:

    1:28 He's humping the inside of the dumpster

  73. hejt says:

    Co się dzieje?! postaw mnie ty debilu!

  74. John Smith says:

    NOT GOOD, DAVE

  75. tcoe38 says:

    Uh i like the one that looked real

  76. Jojo says:

    The Gravity Gun should've been blue when they hooked it up to the APC.

  77. Shadow426 says:

    ahhh civil protection I forgot it was full of dickheads

  78. Lobsters says:

    <3 CP
    … waaaait no van pls!!

  79. zdule1999 says:

    More more

  80. Keith Sauve says:

    What a bunch of dick heads

  81. _ Nixon _ says:

    А этот метрокоп Дейв он что контуженый?

  82. Christian Rissotto says:

    ahhahahahahah :vvvvv

  83. Shoggo says:

    Wait is the woman in the apartment MAGDA?

  84. Lane Stewart says:

    Please more cp

  85. Age Restrictions says:

    Just imagine just sitting in your apartment not too bad everything's going pretty well then you look out your
    window see 2 civil protection agents you see one of them in a damn trash can one of them
    Hook up a device to the apc and they lift your apartment building off can you go back 5 miles away horrifying

  86. Gat the Man says:

    Boy they're gonna lose their sh!t when they see Gordan use that thing.

  87. Adam Borseti says:

    For some reason, the guy going "holy shit!" just struck me hilarious. I don't know.

  88. Pauly Poobrain says:

    And now we know why they never give them vehicles even when they are in vehicle patrol

  89. An Average Fern says:

    I thought they died in the tunnel

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