Civil Protection: Friday

September 12, 2019 posted by

[Subtitles by danielsangeo] MIKE: Do you know who keeps
stealing food from the break room? DAVE: Boonzaaah! MIKE: I’m asking because I’ve had my
lunch stolen for the third time now. It wasn’t even that special this
time, just a grilled cheese sandwich. DAVE: I am mighty tiger! MIKE: What? Well, the reason I’m still
pissed about this, is that the last time they ate my
entire bag of chocolate chip cookies. Those tasted good. You know, those Pepperidge Farm ones? DAVE: I am NINJA! MIKE: Ha. Yeah, funny. DAVE: I just can’t get
my mind around this. I mean, who the hell steals food
from the people they work with? Like a raccoon. DAVE: Whooping crane! Whoop. Whoop. Whoop. [Dave whooping]
MIKE: Y’know, considering the times when it’s happened, I think it might’ve been one of
those punks from D-Sector. DAVE: …whoop. Whoop. Whoop. MIKE: What are you doing? DAVE: Whoop. I am a ninja! MIKE: And I’m a ballerina. C’mon, knock it off. You’ve been watching too much
cartoons or… something. DAVE: Do not MOCK… a ninja! Whee-yaaa, yah! MIKE: Look, I know this job gets boring, and I’m sure acting like a ninja DAVE: Ninja!
MIKE: is more fun than standing here counting the pigeons, but you
know as well as I do that Internal Affairs has been doing
surprise checks lately. DAVE: Whachashaw! MIKE: The last thing we need is
them writing up your karate moves– DAVE: Ninja moves! MIKE: C’mon, grow up. Just cut it out so we don’t get
into trouble, okay. DAVE: [strange noises] MIKE: What the hell is wrong with you? DAVE: Weeoww-shawww… wah! MIKE: There must be half a dozen
cameras around here! DAVE: Waaahh! MIKE: You’re going to get us
another citation! DAVE: Waaahh. [strange noises] MIKE: C’mon, Dave, leave these people
alone. They’re just on their way to work. DAVE: [strange noises] MIKE: Jesus, do we have to go
through this every Friday? Where you act like a retard and
I have to finish my shift with you? DAVE: [strange noises] MIKE: I don’t believe this.
This is so unprofessional. DAVE: [strange noises] MIKE: Dave! DAVE: [strange noises] MIKE: DAVE! STOP IT! DAVE: Whoa-yah. MIKE: What the hell are you
trying to do to us? We can’t get in trouble again. We’ve already got a previous suspen– DAVE: WHAAAOOH! MIKE: Alright, that’s it. DAVE: [groans] MIKE: That’s right. That metal helmet of yours conducts
electricity pretty good, doesn’t it? DAVE: [groans] MIKE: You’re an idiot, Dave. Uh oh. Uhh… Nothing to see here, folks. DAVE: [groans] MIKE: Move along. DAVE: [groans]


100 Replies to “Civil Protection: Friday”

  1. FelixFTW says:

    Wait, the music that plays during the intro is from Quake 3?

  2. Kalsonic says:

    10 years.


    Fuck, i remember when you first uploaded this.. 10 years?!

  4. Senvr11 says:

    Gosh darn it dave

  5. paytyler says:

    This is a GEM!

  6. Isaac Richherds says:

    i watched this ages ago when it came out and i still remember it now and then, thats how memorable and amazing this is!

  7. Downrock says:

    10 years… man

  8. Mac Tonight says:

    Has it really been 10 years?

  9. Miko de Castro says:

    That's me when Fridays or Mondays while at work or college.

  10. Gallifreyan Knight 13 says:

    Wow… 10 years already

  11. TheGameWaster says:

    Where this adventure all began well…

  12. ThisChannelDedAsFriedChicken says:

    Over 10 years old and its still better than the shit on TV we have today!

  13. Brian Will says:

    Ten years goddamn

  14. The Evil Scientist says:

    It's been 10 Years….incredible. How is it possible for this video to have only 475.630 views?

  15. Danahan says:

    Red Vs Blue Meets Civil Protection

  16. Skippy the Magnificent says:

    This video is so old I used to have it pinned to my MySpace page

  17. VirtuallySumthin says:

    Dave just dave

  18. tech priest says:

    dave is hilarious

  19. Gregory Philips says:

    Question what mod do you use to make animations? I'm planning to do some animations myself

  20. quillota11 says:

    Diez años han pasado desde que subiste este vídeo, los mejores vídeos de half life jajaja

  21. Argent says:


  22. xxlCortez says:

    Its awkward when one of the CP just doing that next to you.

  23. Cragmortis says:

    People cant have babies because their planet was taken over by aliens and this dude is acting like a ninja.

  24. kakokapolei123 says:

    This video is like 10 years old now holy shit

  25. Balázs Ufó says:

    My most favorite part is from 3:04-to 3:07.

  26. Comrade Paladin says:

    Heh, 2007

  27. Susan Card says:

    I was just saying i would hit dave if i hade a stun stick but mike read my mind💢💢💢💢

  28. Ilan Smolders says:

    Eh, ross, this is in an area based on eastern europe, right? How is he getting Pepperidge Farm cookies?

  29. Alfredo De Pablo says:

    "Move along"



  31. Vatarga says:

    Anyone here after seeing the new Freemans mind?

  32. Roland Sloth says:

    I am not sure how to feel knowing I saw this the day it was uploaded… and now watching it again 11 years later… besides old.

  33. T Bone says:

    11 years… still amazing

  34. Luka 2000 says:

    Damn old times

  35. Maria Aguas says:

    whooping crane is now joke between my girlfriend and me , I love you ross.

  36. 【Byte】 says:

    w h o o p

  37. BM XT says:

    Please tell how did you animate this? It looks not like stock animations and not like your typical GMod jerky ragdoll-ish animation.

  38. JiminyJustin says:

    I first saw this video when I was in fifth grade, just as I was getting into valve stuff. I can't tell you how many weekend mornings I spent in bed, binging the entire series on my ipad. This was a stroke of pure genius Ross, and I can't thank you enough for all of the beautiful memories I associate with your content.

  39. Franquito410 says:

    why 11 years later I have to find this masterpiece? damn, it feels like when your friends are in a party but you can't go because of work and after that you arrive to the place just to found all the chaos, mess and everyone drunk on the ground

  40. Marcus Yap Ming Feng says:

    Plot twist, Mike's lunch is in Dave stomach. So Dave is the thief 😃.

  41. tortuga says:

    Still here bois

  42. josiahct says:

    Been watching this on repeat for 11 years. 🙂

  43. Civil Protector the Shitposter says:

    damn that time was gololold

  44. Rokko says:

    It’s sad the the vid on machinema got more views.

  45. mc bad robot voice says:

    I don't think that guy was actually a ninja

  46. Prashant Singh says:

    Mike fixed him in the end 😀 😀 😀

  47. Random Slav says:

    who else misses when this series was active

  48. Random Slav says:

    2:20 gmod Rps in a nutshell

  49. Mudlink says:


    I am a ninja

  50. woohoo2491 says:

    11 years ago……………………

  51. Kate Murren says:

    Damn, Bio-Signal mean dead.

  52. john smith says:

    [strange noises]

  53. Benjamin McLean says:

    And they all lived happily ever after.

  54. Gidofter mann says:

    What a classic video. This video aged far better than most others from 2007.

  55. z3rospaced says:

    Walks up to lady sitting on bench waachachacha chuwa still makes me laugh after all these years

  56. Gonzalo García says:

    The nostalgia is real

  57. Eric Monaco says:


  58. Josh JeanJacket Jaeger says:

    It took me 11 years to realize that it was Dave that stole Mike's food. He's a ninja.

  59. DVincentW says:

    Woop woop woop woop

  60. Kirill Abk Ich bin kein ABK fan says:

    11 years…

  61. Vollification says:


    I member 🙂

  62. ProfZockTV says:

    This series started the same year half life 2 episode 2 was released

  63. fabri morales says:

    I was 7 years old when I was looking at this … and I see it again when I was 19 years old

  64. Christian Bomber says:


  65. Tired Tomoko says:

    Ross must be a huge Quake fan like myself to choose Q3A’s Theme as the theme for CP.

  66. BlackPantsLegion says:

    Watching this in school, 10 years ago, my world changed.

    As a security guard, I knew more than I needed to ever know.

  67. Asashi says:

    So Dave was originally supposed to be an air headed dumbass? Edit: (I guess make that every Friday)

  68. Gidofter mann says:

    Still great

  69. Mark says:

    2019 anyone?

  70. buba ruba says:

    Clearly Dave stole his food. A whole set of chocolate chip cookies can give a man such a sugar rush he thinks hes a ninja.

  71. Lλmp Boi says:

    Happy 11th Birthday!

  72. TGX Game Reviews says:

    Happy 12th birthday

  73. Mieczysław Kowalski says:

    Still wait for Half 3…

  74. Misno hammam says:

    Im laugh to death because dave is weird dude

  75. Blackadder says:

    I miss this series.

  76. Mark Tkachev says:

    Oh, the og machinimas. Childhood)) much better than that shit sfm nowadays…

  77. The Dark Lord Cthulhu says:

    Damn I miss this show

  78. C C says:

    guys… i think that Combine Soldier is a NINJA.

    just a small suspicion.

  79. Mr. Veselchack says:


  80. John Memes says:

    This is every Friday at school

  81. MrSHURIKENCHO says:

    Aaaah the friken memories… I remember watching this and thinking it was cool… and then 1:55 came and i died laughing… 12 years later and it still made me fucking LOL

  82. killerZRT101 says:

    god even 12 years later I find this funny

  83. ItsChev notJeff says:

    These two represent two aspects of my mind
    Dave: the Imaginative side with child-like impulses
    Mike: the conscience who tells the imaginative side to stop being a retard

    edit: actually, Dave kinda is a retard on this one

  84. tomdadada says:

    Comes pretty close to the "Paranoia"-RPG from the early 90´s, certain Terry-Gilliam-Movies & Monty Python to add some flavor. Thats a good mix.

  85. 蒸気Sparxxie says:

    12 years. Still a classic

  86. Füher Dabadibadooba says:

    I miss this

  87. Maria Rogers says:

    It makes me feel old that I remember watching this when it originally came out, give a thumbs up if you remember it too.

  88. Zenhorse says:

    1:02 that's where I got my Wooping Crane name that I still use

  89. Ultimatecosplayz Official says:

    12 years old!

  90. OfficialGameHub says:

    Twelve years…

  91. RaptorShadow says:

    How did I not know Civil Protection was you. Holy shit the memories.

  92. Alex says:

    12 years….

  93. Nova 21303 says:

    fun fact: my brother henry was born on february 5th 2007

  94. CanadianLoony says:

    Ross was working as a correctional officer as of making this video.

    Right? I didnt know Ross had short hair either!

  95. lol lol says:

    Dave will be hokage

  96. Adam Borseti says:

    Whooping crane!
    Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!

  97. Snow Wade says:


  98. UndeadPasta says:

    Ross please bring this series back. I don't want this comment to be 4 years old and still nothing.

  99. Ten Minute Tokyo 2 says:

    Dont give the Chinese Communist Party any ideas………

  100. GB MN says:

    Gee, I wonder who stole his cookies & is now amped up on sugar…

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